This post is in honor of Erin, who is expecting her first child....
My aunt Carolyn has some rules for naming kids. When I first heard them years ago I thought that she was kidding and I had no clue why she needed to make rules. But as I have grown older, her reasoning has become crystal clear. Here are the rules.
1. The name has to sound/look good with "Dr." in front and/or "PhD" in the back. So try as you might Gwen and Gavin, "Dr. Zuma Nesta Rock, PhD" does not fill this category. Please try again. Or not.
2. The name must be easily spelled as you hear it. This means that the lady who named her twins "Lemonjelo" and "Orangelo" strike out. Among the many other reasons to not name your children after the jiggly treat you had while in labor, you could have a serious panic attack when trying to spell these names! Is it two words? A dash perhaps?! and goodness, did they honestly remove an "l" in the first and mesh the words together in the second without a "j"?!?! My mind is about to combust!
Finally, 3. The name must be easy to pronouce when you see it. This includes Zephyr. Even if I had passed Hooked on Phonics (no comment) I wouldn't be able to pronounce that.
Now, my friends, I have found a name that turns a back on all three of these rules. It's a version of one of those very common names. Here are the many forms, and yes I know someone with each one of these spellings:
Kaitlin
Katelin
Kaitlyn
Katelyn
Katelynn
Caitlyn
Caitlin
Caitlynn
Catelin
Katelin
Kaitlyn
Katelyn
Katelynn
Caitlyn
Caitlin
Caitlynn
Catelin
I thought some of these versions were obscure, but I tolerated them. but today, I came across a form of this name that makes all the rest look like names of angels:
Keightlyn
Shall I spell it again?
Keightlyn!
Shall I spell it again?
Keightlyn!
Carolyn, I'm adding a new rule. You can't have a name that makes you think of a freight train coming down the tracks.
*all names used in post are true and actual names.
oh and p.s. I just finished my first year of nursing school. yahoo!!
*all names used in post are true and actual names.
oh and p.s. I just finished my first year of nursing school. yahoo!!
7 comments:
I have a suggestion for Erin: how about K8ln? No vowels needed!!
If it's a girl. Or a boy, I guess. I would say any names that incorporate digits are gender neutral.
I work in NICU, and I see all sorts of names. I've come to the conclusion that perhaps there should be a Name Committee that reviews all choices. The rules grew out of shall we say "Interesting" choices." FYI:
The original rules are as follow:
*If you see it, can you say it? (Pronounce ERQNS please)
*If you hear it, can you spell it? (I-rons-qit)
*Either way, do you know if it is a boy or a girl? (What gender is Timber? PS: was was female.)
*Can you say in on the playground?
*If a boy, can it be said over the pulpit at General Conference? If a girl, can she be a CFO? (Hi, I'm Fluffy, and I'm here to do your taxes.)
HA! I love Maughans. (Mons? Maw-gins? Mow-gahns? YOUR NAME DEFIES YOUR OWN RULES. Just kidding. I agree with all rules.)
When about 5 years old and living in upstate NY, Eric was asked his name. His reply: "Eric Maughan M-A-U-G-H-A-N." He had already learned by example from he parents that when one is bless with a hard to spell name, one might as well begin spelling it right after saying it.
PS, also, I met a girl once named Raechel. UGH. If you're going to add extra vowels to my name--which is stupid, anyway--at least do THAT much conventionally and spell it Rachael. Rach-ay-el.
Oh but Melissa, I don't want my kid's name to have to follow rules! I want them to be unique. I want them to have a name no one else has ever heard of. I want them to have to spell their name a thousand times over the course of your average three-day period. I want their name to cause snickering in the library on facebook. I want their name to cause every guy (or girl, depending on my child's gender) in their future ward to think about dating my child, and then think "NO WAY, SUCKER! Good luck to that dude/chick!"
This post should be required reading for all future parents. I'm so honored you would dedicate it to me.
Also, Eric, you're right. You can not tell by looking at a name with numbers whether that name belongs to a male or female, so gender neutral is acceptable. Also, you can not tell if that individual is human. Or perhaps if their parents were.
I'm sorry, but I don't think MLS allows digits in names.
Post a Comment