I take it back...all of it.

If you read my previous post, I'm sorry if this seems a little contradictory. But wearing essentially the same clothes for 3 days gives me a right to contradict myself.

Dear Delta,
BAD DELTA. VERY BAD. Yes, I did say I had a (mostly) satisfactory flight, but it's very hard to remember the good things about you when I am just surrounded by the bad things. Like how you lost my luggage. And now I have no clothes. Do you realize how hard it is to find something to wear to church when your only options are two prom dresses, a graduation robe and my baptism dress I wore when I was EIGHT?! It's not an easy thing!
As a nurse, we spend a lot of time working on patient teaching. It's called multi-focal planning. Well, I'm going to do some airline teaching right now. So sit down, shut up, and listen.

Lesson #1- telling time. When someone calls you on the phone complaining about their luggage being lost, and you tell them it will arrive "tomorrow night", that usually implies at night, aka after the sun has gone down. When that said someone asks you to clarify what "tomorrow night" means, don't tell them 2 or 3 pm. That would imply afternoon. It's okay. Sometimes reading a clock can be difficult. Maybe that's why both my flights got in 40 minutes early. But also when you say it'll be there tomorrow night, make sure you tell other people, so that it will actually get there at that said time.

Lesson #2- Penmanship. I think, Mr. Delta-man, that you skipped the day in first grade that taught you to tell time and write your letters and numbers. Please note Exhibit A is my baggage information reference number that I type in online to check the status of my bag. Now, this can get a little tricky, but to me, this seems like maybe "A1B0H1U205" or maybe I supposed you could argue that the second to last digit could potentially be an O. Regardless, I would still be very wrong. You see, when I couldn't get this code to work no matter how many different ways I typed it in, and I called you up to check what the code actually was, I was very surprised to learn that it was ALBOH14205. So here's a few pointers. First, LEARN HOW TO WRITE A 4!! Not a U, a 4!! Second, if you are using a 1 and L in the same code, WRITE THEM DIFFERENTLY. Finally, if you are also stupid enough to use an O and 0(zero) in the same code, could you like, draw a line through the zero or something? k. thanks.

Lesson #3- Geography. Now, I don't know where you originally sent my luggage, but I'm quite sure you didn't send it to JFK. So let's start there. John F. Kennedy airport is located in NYC (that would be New York City) which is EAST of Salt Lake. Let's at least send it that direction, k? And when you do end up sending it to JFK (over 24 hours after I myself land in Albany) do not send it directly to Cincinnati Ohio before sending it to Albany. If you leave the state of New York where I live (which by the way, I live in BURNT HILLS, not BRUNTSHILL) then you have gone too far. Personally, I feel that the 25 minute flight from JFK to Albany is much more direct and frankly, much more efficient then sending it to Cincinnati first.

Also, I know you only gave me this message like 12 hours ago when you "located my bag", but I'm getting very tired of this message. Will you please change it to something useful that actually gives me some sort of hope that I can get clean clothes before I go home in a week?

Bag Tag Number:

DL140959

Status:

We have located this bag at New York-Kennedy, NY (JFK) airport and are scheduling it to be on a flight to your final destination.
Please check back again for the delivery date and time of your bag.

So, Mr. Delta-man, I hope that you can understand this letter and that this airline teaching has been effective for you. But please. I'm begging you. Please bring me my luggage. It'd be great to have clean clothes, makeup, medication, shoes, my toothpaste, my scriptures, my assignment due by tomorrow........

A newly faithful Southwest flyer,
Melissa