Completely RIDICULOUS day!

So I had a completely unbelievable day yesterday. Not really good, not really bad, just absolutely hilarious. After Erin Wilson asked for details, I emailed this to her, and I realized it was just to funny I had to share it with all of you. You may think I am making this up, but I promise you, I'm not hahahaha. Key words are in bold for your convenience :)

I almost won a CRUISE, but I didn't because I'm not 25. Got asked out on a date by a guy I've sorta been seeing for almost 2 months (but haven't talked to in like a week) about 2O MINUTES before he picked me up, so I had to stay in the sun dress that I had been wearing all day because hey, we were only going to make pizza. Then when he picked me up, he told me that he had been jumped by two completely DRUNK MEXICANS a week ago and he hadn't called for the last week because his face was STILL SWOLLEN even last night, a week later! haha. Then turns out the girl who's house we went to was the best friend of Trevan's girlfriend that he cheated on me with (KARALEE BUCKHOFF) and totally put her foot in her mouth when she found out haha. She then continued to drill me for details. Not cool. Then one of the guys at the group date asked if I knew where CLIFTON PARK New York was. Hello random.Then BEE MONEY (the mentally retarded local rapper) ate dinner with us, blessing the food by thanking God for the "CD sales he has accumulated" and asking that "these beautiful girls get what they want from their dates". hahahaha. Then I playfully slap Todd (the guy I've been seeing for almost two months but haven't kissed---surprisingly) with my hand on his stomach and he completely shrivels up so I make some joke about him having mono and I must have hit him in the spleen, and turns out it wasn't a joke!! He has had MONO for TWO MONTHS!! (explains the lack of kissing! as it shall remain) So then we're all just talking and relaxing and then we apparently were going to go up the canyon for a BONFIRE. I'm in a SUNDRESS and flip flops!! While we're there Todd and I go the river and I FALL (since it's pitch black and there are sticks/rocks everywhere) and my dress practically goes up over my face hahaha. then while at the campfire, we ROAST STARBURSTS (a Utah delicacy?). Then the smoke from the fire triggers one of my ATTACKS and all of a sudden for 10 minutes, when I already can't breathe, everyone is around me basically staring. Random people I met that night were practically groping my legs. so awkward. haha. So after like 20 minutes of not really breathing, Todd carries me to the car, but DOESN'T CATCH THE BOTTOM OF MY DRESS. therefore carrying me past our campfire and two other campfires with my lovely YELLOW PANTIES completely exposed. Thank goodness they were at least cute. And finally, I collapsed on my front door when I had a little bit of another attack, my roommates heard and opened the door that I was leaning on, and I FELL at their feet. hahaha. I then proceeded to laugh about the whole night hysterically for the next 2 hours.

Moral of the Story: Never wear a dress...ever and always ask the guy you are dating if he has mono or is prone to random attacks from drunk Mexicans.